Listening to Petraeus: The Endless Bummer

[courtesy of California Progress Report]

By Mary Lyon

David Petraeus has spoken again. And somehow I feel like I did listening over the years to friends of mine whose dreams were just sure to come true someday, and whose ships were just bound to come in. They were, after all, promised this – over and over and over.

For some of them it was the assurance of that great job off in the distance, if they only played their cards right and put up with a series of indignities and delays. For others it was a married lover who dawdled for years, insisting the divorce was just around the corner, followed by a long‐awaited “happily ever after.”

Time passed. The coveted job was never attained. Some other excuse or twist of fate or competitor or company upheaval always got in the way. The journey down the aisle never happened either. There was always some reason, a good reason for sure, why it couldn’t. After awhile, with each of my disappointed friends, cynicism started to set in. The seemingly never‐ending disappointment became utterly corrosive. Along with the broken hearts and dashed dreams came a grievously violated trust as the reality set in: the carrot will always be dangled just out of reach – and you’ll never quite reach it.

Every time General David Petraeus opened his mouth before two Senate committees, I thought of these friends of mine. Even in their dejection they were still among the lucky ones, comparatively speaking. They dealt with bitter disappointments in work and in love. But at least it wasn’t like they were left hanging – with a loved one almost literally held hostage by the Iraq War and those in charge who just somehow can’t find a way to end it.

The general’s assertions, and those of his partner, Ambassador Ryan Crocker, sounded like the fast‐talkers who ground my friends down over the years. The hearts’ desires were always just over the next hill. Kind of like Iraq. Funny enough, one of my friends even faced the empty promise of “let’s give it another six months, and then we’ll see” with no more satisfying results than what American taxpayers have been getting for several years now. None of my friends ever managed to pin these weasels down with anything they could take to the proverbial bank, any more than Joe Biden or Carl Levin could manage with Petraeus and Crocker.

The problem for the rest of us goes far beyond keeping the light on in the window for the great job promotion or fairy‐tale wedding. It’s precious American lives and limbs, and equally precious Iraqi lives and limbs that are being dangled just beyond our reach. It’s families literally torn apart. Moms and dads, lovers, spouses and fiancés and children waiting by the phone day after day, hoping and praying that they don’t get “that” call or knock on the front door. It’s struggling family members trying to comfort and distract themselves with prayer, lit candles, and yellow ribbons. For others among us, it’s the one‐thousandth petition or appeal to a Congress member that yet again falls on deaf ears. We’re left clinging to nothing but platitudes, delays, empty promises and, if we get out of line, scare tactics to shut us up and frighten us yet again into compliance.